Monster Apocalypse
by Myrna Maeve
Summary: Inspired by Fluteorwrite's "Hetalia zombie apocalypse". What happens when you take a bunch of countries and put them in a field full of monsters? Minor crack with a plot. T for language and mild gore. CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN.


**A/N:**

**Hello, all! The following story was inspired by Fluteorwrite's Hetalia zombie apocalypse!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I only own myself and the place where the game takes place. I don't own Darcy, either. I just changed his name.**

The nations awoke to find themselves in a large forest clearing.

"What the fuck?" Romano yelled, speaking the thought that was on everyone's mind. "Where the hell are we?"

"Good morning everyone! Glad to see you're awake," said a voice from above. Everyone looked up to see a figure sitting in the branches of a tall tree.

"Who are you? Show yourself!" Germany shouted.

"Geez, no need to shout," the person said, jumping out of the tree and landing on their feet in front of Germany. It was a girl with dark brown hair with blood red streaks in it and bright blue-green eyes. Her hair was held back in a braid, and she wore a crimson red t-shirt and a cropped black leather jacket, as well as black jeans and hiking boots. On her hands she wore a pair of crimson fingerless gloves, and she had a sword hanging from her belt.

"Who are you?" Germany repeated, looking annoyed. "Why did you bring us here?"

"I'm Myrna," the girl said. "And I brought you all here to participate in a little game I like to call 'Monster Apocalypse'!" She smiled, and all the weaker nations shivered.

"Monster Apocalypse? That sounds dangerous, ve!" Italy said.

Myrna shrugged. "Not really. Now, let's get started!" she said, pulling a staff out of hammerspace and slamming the end of it into the ground. With a flash of light, the nations were randomly split into seven groups and teleported to seven different cabins in the field.

**Group One: Germany, Lithuania, Poland, and China**

"Like, where are we now?" Poland asked, looking around. "This cabin could like, totally use a makeover!"

Lithuania saw a book floating in front of them, and he grabbed it. "Maybe this will tell us what's going on," he said. He opened the book to the first page and read:

"_Welcome to Monster Apocalypse (MA)! This book contains all you need to know about MA, including the rules. The most important rules are as follows:_

_I, Myrna, control everything, and I can do whatever I want. So don't mess with me. You'll regret it._

_If you "die", you won't actually die. You'll just go into Death Cabin 1 for the remainder of the chapter and the next two chapters after that. And yes, I just broke the fourth wall. Deal with it._

_Everyone starts out with a sword, a dagger, a staff, a bow and a quiver of arrows, a spear, or a battle hammer. The weapon you receive will probably be one that you know how to use. Probably. _

_There will be monsters, and they will attack you. This _is _called Monster Apocalypse, after all._

_The rest of the rules will not be needed until later in the game, and you will be notified of when they come into effect. Until then, have fun!_

_Myrna"_

As soon as Lithuania finished reading it, the book glowed, and four weapons fell to the floor. There was a sword for Germany, a sword for Lithuania, a dagger for Poland, and a spear for China.

"I wonder where the others are, aru," China said.

"I just hope Italy is okay," Germany said.

**Group Two: Romano, Belarus, England, and Italy**

"What the fuck?" Romano screeched. "I don't know how to fight with a fucking sword! Why didn't I get a gun?"

"Because that wasn't one of the weapons on the list," Belarus stated bluntly. She had received a dagger, so she didn't really care what the others had gotten.

"I haven't used one of these in a long time…" England murmured, looking at the bow in his hands.

"How do I use this, ve?" Italy asked, fumbling with the staff he had received. The others sweatdropped.

"Why did Italy get a staff?" England wondered.

"Probably so my idiot _fratello_ wouldn't accidentally kill himself," Romano grumbled.

**Group Three: Sealand, Prussia, Spain, and Ireland**

"It's Hammer Time, desu-yo!" Sealand yelled, swinging his battle hammer around gleefully. "Now jerk England has to recognize me as a country!"

"Keep telling yerself that, lad…" Ireland muttered, slinging her quiver over her shoulder and grabbing her bow. "Albion's a stubborn one…"

"Toni! You and me, swordfight! Now!" Prussia yelled, pointing his sword at Spain.

"_Si_, _amigo_!" Spain said, taking a battle stance and pointing his sword back at Prussia.

"Not in 'ere, ye idiots!" Ireland yelled. "Ye'll kill us all!"

**Group Four: Canada, Hungary, Greece, and Zimbabwe**

"This is quite well made," Zimbabwe said, examining the spear she had received. "What did you get, Canada?"

"A staff- wait, you can see me?" Canada said, surprised.

Zimbabwe looked at him curiously. "Of course I can," she said. "Why wouldn't I-"

"Hey Zimbabwe, why are you talking to yourself?" Hungary asked, her new sword strapped to her back (where she got a sheath, I'll never know).

"I'm not," Zimbabwe said. "Can't you see that I'm talking to Canada?"

Canada sighed. "Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"Zzz…"

Everyone looked at Greece, thinking, _How can he possibly sleep at a time like this?_

**Group Five: Sweden, Ukraine, Finland, and Laos**

"N'ce 'nd sh'rp," Sweden said, running his thumb along the blade of his sword. "Wh't 'b't y'rs, m' w'fe?"

Finland blushed. "It's fine, Su-san," he said. "But please, don't call me that!"

"B't y'r're m' w'fe."

"Su-san!"

"I'm glad I got a long-range weapon," Laos said, looking at the bow in her hands. "I'll be safer fighting from afar."

"I feel… different," Ukraine said. "Almost as if a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders…"

Their book started glowing again, so Laos opened it and read:

"_Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier; I took the liberty of making Ukraine's breasts smaller so she could fight easier. Now they're size 32A._

_-Myrna"_

**Group Six: Switzerland, Romania, France, and Liechtenstein**

"Ohonhonhonhonhon… it seems we have all been grouped together," France chuckled, holding his sword nonchalantly.

"Stay away from Liechtenstein!" Switzerland and Romania yelled, Switzerland pointing his sword at the Frenchman while Romania pointed his dagger. Then Switzerland blinked.

"Romania…" he said slowly. "What feelings do you have for my sister?"

"Is it l'amour?" France asked, causing Romania to blush. "It is! Have you two kissed yet-"

France suddenly fell to the floor, unconscious. Myrna stood behind him, holding a staff.

"Thanks for letting me use this, Liechtenstein," Myrna said, handing the staff to Liechtenstein.

"You're welcome, Ms. Myrna," Liechtenstein said.

"None of that 'Ms.' Stuff," Myrna said. "And Switzy, don't hurt Romania. If you do, well…."

"Well what?" Switzerland asked. "And don't call me Switzy!"

Myrna flashed an eerie smile at him. "You don't want to find out," she said, and then she vanished.

**Group Seven: Japan, America, Russia, and Cambodia**

"My sword is way better than your hammer, commie!" America said.

"Nyet, my hammer is better," Russia said, smiling.

"It is not!" America said.

"Da, it is," Russia said.

"Japan! Whose weapon is better, me or Russia's?" America asked, and both superpowers turned to look at the small island nation.

"Um… werr… this is where I sense the mood and refrain from speaking!" Japan said, looking at his sword nervously.

Cambodia just stood there laughing her ass off, her dagger strapped to her hip.

After she left Group Six, Myrna returned to the control center for the game, and she was immediately grabbed from behind. Startled, she whirled around, her sword drawn and pointed at her attacker. Or at least, pointed at where her attacker had been. Then something in her mind clicked.

"Why do you always scare me like that, Darcy?" Myrna said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It's fun," Darcy said, emerging from the shadows with a grin. His long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he was a head taller than Myrna (who's about 5'2" or so). He also had a long sword strapped to his back.

"Besides," Darcy continued, pulling Myrna into a hug. "You know you like it."

Myrna frowned, blushing. "If you use your seduction magic on me right now, we will be over," she said. "I don't care if you are my sexy incubus boyfriend, now is not the time for messing around. There are monsters out there, you know."

"I know," Darcy said, letting Myrna go. "They're all frozen, remember?"

"Of course I do. I froze them," Myrna said, pulling her staff out of hammer-space. Then she slammed the end of it into the floor, and a pulse of red energy surged through the field. "Now they're unfrozen. Let the games begin!"

With that, Myrna raced outside, dragging Darcy with her.

**A/N**

**Rules for MA that only apply to reviewers:**

**- Reviewers may act as sponsors, providing gifts for the characters. The only restriction is that no modern weaponry like guns, explosives, flamethrowers, and the like are allowed. It's more fun that way!**

**- Reviewers can make guest appearances in the story, and they are allowed to kill characters if they so desire. Just send me a PM describing the scenario and how you want to look.**

**- Reviewers may request for people to die (Myself and Darcy included)**

**So, read and review, and if you want to, PM!**


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